Where do we begin after everything was lost?
It took me a long time, or no time at all, to begin creating again. I find it hard to identify if my world came to a halt, or if things shifted so they were unrecognisable.
I admit I do not like reflecting on the first few months after my world was destroyed in October. They were the worst of times. I try not to look back when I control where my gaze is pointing. Most of the time my mind drifts on its own, thoughts rise and fall, trying to arrange everything that has happened.
**
There is nothing to say about what happened. There was pain. There was suffering. There was fear.
These are just words, they do not sound like what happened.
**
But there are things to say about what came later, and along with fragments of words, images started to appear. They were not born out of nothing, they are a version of myself, yes, there is a ‘Myself’ that crossed the border. There was nothing massive to say about the massive destruction. There was a small wish to begin collecting my shattered self, my scattered interstellar dust, and put them back together. Collages, of course, what more can one do when you fell apart. some of the pieces I recognised, others were unfamiliar but I learnt they are also a part of me.
**
Interstellar dust from NASA archives. Ancient bacteria that formed first life. James Webb telesope images of our universe. Owl wings, childhood stories, countless memories of seeds, shells and a lamppost from my kibbutz, that once showed the way home.
**
Microscopic beginnings of new singularities, holding all that came to and end, my whole past held in a capsule that will become all new beginnngs. And then there was
light.
